By Marion A. Wennerholm, Ph.D.
Following Haiti's devastating earthquake on January 12,
2010, the news reports held our attention, day and night. The statistics and visual images were
staggering, but the individual stories gripped our hearts. We heard stories of tragedy, suffering,
fortitude and amazing resilience.
One such story, during the first few days, was that of
Saint-Helene Jean-Louis, a 29-year-old student who was trapped for four days in
a collapsed building at the University of Port-au-Prince. During the first
night after the earthquake, she had no contact with any human being. She lay in
a silent space between slabs of concrete, surrounded by eight dead bodies. In
those long hours of darkness, shock, pain, and isolation, we cannot imagine
what went through her mind. We wonder
what kept the light of her spirit alive?
When the rescuers found this young woman, they could see
only the top of her head and her left hand. Immobile and barely able to speak,
she was dependent on others to give her a chance to live. A local rescue worker
who spoke Creole was able to communicate with her, while others clawed and dug
through layers of debris. After working for 30 hours, they pulled her out of
the rubble, still alive.
Reporters witnessed the rescuers' remarkable
achievement. Saint-Helene
Jean-Louis's efforts were less visible, but no less powerful. A member of the
rescue squad commented, "You have Mother Nature in all her power and fury
with this earthquake, yet this woman has just as much strength as the
earthquake".
In the Employee Assistance (EAP) field, we often see that
same spirit when people are coping with personal tragedies. For the individual living through a
traumatic experience, the struggle for emotional survival is similar to that of
the Haitian earthquake victims. In
both cases, two important elements are required: inner strength and help from others.
Inner strength is grit, resolve or power that comes from
within. Is it part of the basic instinct to survive or the will to live? Is faith, hope, love, or meaning its
source? The answers to these
questions remain a mystery, but there is apparently a part of our humanity that
refuses to give up, even under the most adverse circumstances.
Connection with other people is the second critical
factor that makes it possible for us to endure extreme misfortune and
suffering. Sensing the support or
companionship of another human being seems to be essential to surmount great
hardship. Even when we are alone,
we seek a connection with others through our memories, dreams, prayers or
imagination.
Do you remember the film "Cast Away"? Executive Chuck Noland (Tom Hanks) was
stranded on an uninhabited island for four years, the sole survivor of a
terrible plane crash. After attending to his basic needs for water, food and
shelter, his utter loneliness threatened to end his life. His response was to create an imaginary
friend, "Wilson", personified in a volleyball that washed up on the
shore with the wreckage of the plane. Wilson (or rather Noland's attachment to
him) helped him to keep his sanity.
Our core emotional needs for inner strength and
meaningful connections with others are most evident when we must face an
extreme life crisis. Examples of such situations include the unexpected death
of a loved one, an act of violence at home or in the workplace, a painful
divorce, the loss of one's livelihood or home, a life-threatening illness or a
serious accident. At those times,
we need to look inward for strength, but also be willing to look for the hand
reaching out to help us.
Catastrophes come in many shapes and sizes, ranging
in scale from personal tragedies to huge natural disasters. Most of these events cannot be
prevented, but we can still try to prepare for them, by developing
psychological hardiness and by strengthening our relationships with family,
friends, and co-workers.